It's a...


That Tom Jones song keeps running through my head:
"She's a lady...woo oh oh...she's a lady...yes she is!!! And that lady is mine!"

At my December check up today my doctor said she was pleased with the development so far and my weight gain (yippee) but she gave me a talking to about inactivity because when she said "you're exercising, right?" I said "wrong." She looked at me sternly and said "No?" in a what do you mean sorta way. I was honest and said I love long walks but it's been soggy and slippery and I'm exhausted at the end of a crazy long work day. She wasn't buying this response so I added that I have purchased a pregnancy yoga DVD. This made her soften a bit and she said that's an excellent idea and that I should shoot for 3-4 times weekly, "because you do know that you're preparing yourself for a marathon, right?" How would I have guessed that? First timer here lady, baby of the family, blissfully ignorant and your killing my baby buzz! As if that wasn't enough of a reality check she added at the end of our appointment "next month I'll have you share with me your birthing plan." If this med school flunky thinks she can copy off of MY paper, we're in trouble folks. We got a code red here. I was kinda hoping she had that part covered. I do pay her after all, this isn't a pro bono arrangement. But since she's asking me, may as well take about if I count to three and you magic the baby into my arms when she's ready to come on out? Truthfully, I'm more concerned about raising a healthy, loving, responsible, well thought of young lady than the birthing process...I'm sure you moms that are reading this are thinking...rude awakening alert just around the bend! And I will not argue which is why my new to do list looks like this:

1) Prepare for marathon in approximately 20 weeks.
2) Draft birthing plan proposal for dimwit doctor. Keep it simple, something along the lines of "I'll be the patient, you deliver the baby."
3) Knit mary jane booties with matching cardi
4) Do NOT panic! You can do this, Oliva Maria is counting on you!


lessonsinlifeandlight said...

Check out my birth reference page...I think there's a link or two about birth plans on there. You're super lucky that your doctor is so open to a birth plan! A lot of them aren't.

So excited to meet Oliva Maria!!! Congrats on the sweet baby girl!

Maria Elise said...

Thx Brit, I'll check it out. This is completely tongue in cheek. I needed to feel silly at the end of a brutal day. And I was blogging thru a raging headache. I adore my dr and I feel lucky (and truthfully a bit overwhelmed) by all the choices. Can't wait to meet Oliva's cousin!!

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