Royalty free photo courtesy of the lovely Christian Southworth who so generously shares his beautiful work at Freedigitalphotos.net

Saw a documentary recently called The Bridge. A raw vivid account of the lives of those who view the Golden Gate Bridge as more than a thing of beauty but rather a way to escape the darkest most debilitating form of depression. A stunning collection of footage and interviews with family members of those who fully realized their desire to end their suffering as well as those who attempted but reconsidered. Also included are interviews with witnesses, pedestrians taking in the view and observing more than they anticipated. Although profoundly sad the end result is an honest perspective on just how crippling undiagnosed depression can be.

Have you heard that Sleater-Kinny song called Jumpers about the Golden Gate Bridge and this subject? I understand the verse that goes "four seconds was the longest wait" now. The time it takes to get from the bridge to the water. I'll never look at the Golden Gate Bridge in quite the same way again.

The Mayo Clinic has a great collection of articles on the topic of depression. Be well friends, let's take good care of each other.

Songs vs Insects

Finished reading Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song At a Time by Rob Sheffield. Thoroughly enjoyed this love story framed by a collection of mixed tapes swapped back and forth. The author is a contributing editor for Rolling Stone which explains the affinity for choice pop songs. Although this biography is ultimately about suffering and loss, there's enough wit and good music tied in to keep you reading through the sadness.

"Nothing connects to the moment like music. I count on the music to bring me back--or more precisely, to bring her forward."

Some people scrapbook moments in time, pin them down on paper like butterflies, others compile mix tapes. I'm so glad that Mr. Sheffield collects and shares songs rather than insects.


17 week old bun in the proverbial oven

Preparation, anticipation, excitement, insomnia, and an appetite that would make a lumberjack feel dainty. That's how I'd summarize 17 weeks. That and "nesting."

From what I understand babies have lots of things. Diapers, bassinets, cribs, clothes, blankets, toys, strollers, and even more that I have yet to discover. This hit me only recently (never claimed to be the smartest monkey at the zoo) and after I pointed out to Erik that every inch of "space" in our cozy 2 and 1 is maxed out, we talked for a long time about it and decided with heavy hearts to try selling the love nest, *sniff* *sniff*. I think deep down we are both secretly hoping that we don't get any offers before February (the month we both agree we should take it off the market if we don't get any bites) but on the off chance we do sell, we could potentially get more house for about the same mortgage payment or less. If we stay, we will have to get super duper creative, as in "hey this isn't just a porch! It's an office! Where we can work and I can craft in the great outdoors!" I feel so lucky and thankful to be fortunate enough to have choices like these at a time like this. It's only the beginning but it feels more worthwhile than I ever imagined. And now more than ever I am so appreciative of the loving, caring, friends and family that are apart of my life. I hope I can be half as loving and influential as you all have been to me! Sorry for the sappy downward spiral....but I mean it!


Yes! Pants! Good Thinking!

Nearly Completed Orange Crush Sock
1 of 2 (per the very best of intentions)

Like a loyal friend this sock has been by my side in good times and bad. We celebrated baby news, the Giants World Series win, and then there was also that time when a police officer told me to put some pants on. I don't think I've shared that story yet...I'll try to keep it brief. In September I heard incoherent shouting outside our bedroom window following a gun shot. Hubby pulled me outta bed and ushered me to the other end of the house before calling 911. The police responded right away and before too long an officer was at our door informing us we would need to be evacuated immediately, indefinitely. I'm new to this, thankfully it's not every day that an armed police officer raps on the door and says essentially, move it. now! So I grabbed my purse and said let's go. He took one look at me and politely said in a quiet voice, "um ma'am, you might want to put some pants on." Now remember this story began when I was in bed, I DID have jammies on and I was wearing a robe....but yes...pants was a fantastic suggestion! We were allowed back home at 3 am the next day...and neighbor is undergoing treatment. He apparently thought it a good idea to down an entire bottle of tequila on a sunday night and open fire in a residential neighborhood. All that wrapped up in one sock! Can't wait to see what the 2nd sock will bring!

Mr. Gary and Nightmare Girl

Handsome Mr. Gary
Gazing off in the distance daydreaming of all you can eat seafood buffets.

Thanks to the breezy 20-something who rear ended me at a red light and giggled through her apology. You are the inspiration for my song of the day selection: Nightmare Girl by Aimee Mann off of her Lost in Space special edition album.

Zombie Mug

I'm only a couple days late with this spooky pic and way late in other respects. That's right friends...I have a little tamale in the oven! Have been scarce around these parts due to fatigue and an overall green feeling. I will keep the gruesome details of other peculiar changes in mind and body to myself except to add that it's truly amazing to experience how ravenous a 4.5 inch organism can be, compelling me to pull off for a Round Table pizza "snack" between meals in the middle of the day. Hubby and I can't wait to meet this sweet insatiable little peanut in the spring!

Wanted to share what the Aimee Mann show was like at Yoshi's in San Francisco! Dinner at Yoshi's was incredible. Dessert was especially ridiculous: a peanut butter cup pie topped with handmade peanut brittle and candied banana chips...so sinful! The show was in a separate area of the restaurant. An intimate venue that had the look and feel of a prohibition era club with round cocktail table style seating around a small stage framed by red velvet curtains. A two drink minimum during the show. And the strangest thing, my tea, served in a beautiful clay cup that looked like it was crafted from hand pounded silver had a slow leak somewhere because my yummy Numi tea kept escaping and pooling into a generous puddle on our table. Only a minor irritation.

But all in all it was another great show, here's the setlist. Songs 7,8,&9 are from her new project, a broadway play! She's so clever!:

Aimee Mann
Yoshi's, SF
October 8, 2010

1) The Moth
2) Freeway
3) Little Bombs
4) Thirty One Today
5) Medicine Wheel (written with sister Gretchen)
6) Going Through the Motions
7) Willing to Hurt the One You Love
8) Easy To Die
9) Las Vegas
10)Nothing is Good Enough
11)Guys Like Me
12)Build that Wall
13)Save Me
14)Wise Up


(some schmuck actually shouted out "Little Bombs!" to which she replied, "We played that one man, where the fuck have you been?" :)

16)Driving Sideways
17)Lost in Space

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